wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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