Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The Olympian is in my bed
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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