I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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