i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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