too bad you live with your parents still
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
