Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
