it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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