white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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