oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
