using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
