Im at strip club and am horny
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
