Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
