If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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