apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
