Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I faked an abortion last night.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
