We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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