That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
tequila makes me forget i have legs
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
