is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
