I think i peed on brittanys purse
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
