cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
