Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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