Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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