Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My hand turned me down
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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