How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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