Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
