Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
