The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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