Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
