I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
