weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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