So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
