Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
