My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
