I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You left your phone here
Wait...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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