I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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