I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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