hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I've blown a few things in my day
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
