do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
