his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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