i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
