these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
