i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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