he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
