I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
