im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
