Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
