the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
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