Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
