does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
