Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
