my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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