I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
