Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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