My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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