Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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